Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Dear God,

I lead such a blessed existence. I don’t know why you are so good to me, or how my life factors into the grand design, but I am so glad and grateful for my time in this gorgeous, glorious universe of yours.

Thank you for your tangible presence throughout this month, and especially over the past few days. Time and time again, I have seen you in the faces and actions of those around me. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.

As you well know, I am currently facing one of the biggest decisions of my life. (Twenty years from now, the previous statement may read melodramatic and trivial, but, in this moment, it could not be more meaningful or true.) Commit to another year of unfathomable curiosity, change, and challenge, or head for the nearest and dearest green grass of home?

Never one to make a quick decision, this dilemma is, without question, resulting in the most excruciatingly extended list of pros and cons I’ve yet to write.

Long story short, friend, if you have any grace or guidance to give, I am all ears.

Until then, I remain most gratefully yours,

Echo

P.S. Happy belated birthday!

My Grown-up Christmas List

It's a sad day when you're too big to sit on the old man's lap.

Dear Santa,

I want:

-          time to stop while I’m sleeping so I can recharge without losing a precious minute of daytime possibility.

-          decisiveness. Whether relational, vocational, or geographical, I struggle to make decisions both large and small. Although I rarely lose any sleep, I do spend hours making lists of pros and cons on matters such as, “should I stay in Japan another year?”, “Should I register for nursing and get on a career path before I’m 30?”, “Should I let this angsty, hormonal teen know that I know what “eigo baka”* means or should I just smile and play dumb?”

-          more of the heart-melting moments that make the enormous language barriers in an elementary school classroom so worth it.

-          the world to know what a wonderfully supportive family I have and how grateful I am to call them mine!  

-          to watch three consecutive Christmas movies from the comfort of my bed.

-          to be able to sit seiza for the duration of a tea ceremony without my lower limbs screaming for blood or failing to hold my weight afterwards.

-          150 lbs of Mars bars, reasonably-priced apples, and old cheddar cheese.

-          a robot that does housework. Yes, I live alone. Yes, my apartment is cozy. Nevertheless, I still want one. Don’t you?

-          to go to church on Christmas Eve without feeling like an intruder.

-          more music-making. However, I also want to stay on good terms with my neighbours. So, what I really want are the words to explain to employees at a nearby karaoke spot that I’d like to rent a room in which to practice.

-          to be fluent in Japanese. Preferably upon waking up Christmas Day morning.

-          a sense of direction. I can’t say for sure, having never had one, but it seems handy.

-          more laughter, more challenges, and more growth throughout the coming year.

-          and, finally, as always, I really, really want a teleporter. Seriously, think about it. It would make both of our lives a lot easier!

Your not-so-grown-up friend,

Echo

*English idiot